I Know You Never Said It Would Be Easy...but

I cried this evening. I tried not to, I really did, but alas my emotions, having overflowed the spot deep inside where I traditionally ignore them, came tumbling down my cheeks in the form of warm tears. Truth is I'm a sensitive guy. While at some point I fantasize about being Clint Eastwood, meeting out justice in a cold-masculine way, in reality I'm more Elmer Fudd-like crying over that Daffy Duck I thought I wanted to shoot.

I'm a momma's boy. I love people. I love to help, and often I try to be a part of the solution to people's problems. I'm usually the first to volunteer, and I love to lead. I enjoy making tough decisions, and working on complex issues. I love figuring out the puzzling issues that sometimes pop up. I like to be out front. But sometimes being out front has consequences.

When you're out front your exposed. Like the first guy down the ramp onto Omaha Beach, you don't have something to duck behind. Everyone sees you, and whatever comes your way, you feel it. There's no place to hide at the front. So it is in ministry sometimes.

I came to Hungary to make a difference. So far I think I have in a small way. But I think that what I'm discovering is that when you place yourself in the center of pain, while you lie amidst the suffering of many, you feel it too. I'm not immune to it. I feel it physically gnawing at my insides as if trying to get out.

I may have always said it, but now I know that humans are messy creatures. While we might delude ourselves into believing that we somehow we have things tidied up, in the recesses of our hearts and minds, we find baggage and pain that we haul around. Sometimes are messiness cannot be contained.

English camp just ended and I was amazed at the many stories I heard that boggled the mind. I mean, I knew that these types of issues existed, but not in anyone I know, or thought I knew. One after another many of our students revealed their messiness, they allowed us to peer into the recesses of their hearts and see the scars, the hurts, and tears. Like sitting in the front row of a Gallagher concert, I walked away with emotional watermelon all over me.

I tried to pour some of myself into them, and in a small way, I felt some of their pain pour into me. When you reach out, it's inevitable that when you touch someone, they are indeed touching you. I found a new level of appreciation for Christ, who while expressing the greatest act of love ever recorded took upon himself the weight of the world. I struggled under the weight of the few people I've met.

I didn't take long to be disappointed. I didn't take long to be saddened, and I've discovered that it hasn't taken long to be brought to the point of tears. There's honestly a part of me that wishes that I could disconnect. There is a part inside that wonders how nice it would be to be able to walk away from such situations with a casual stride and leave it behind. How nice it would be to not deal with the sleeplessness, or the gut wrenching conversations. I only let these thoughts linger for a moment.

Truth is, I am exaclty how God made me. At some point God worked all of my innermost parts together and with great purpose put together my heart. Sometimes I can't solve problems, but I can make a difference precisely because I do care, and hopefully they know it. Though it hurts to stand by and watch people make mistakes, my compassion for them drives me to be there to try and pick them up, to try and wipe the tears. I just wish it didn't hurt so much.

I hope, dear reader, that you can appreciate my honesty. I would love to write of only the good things, filling page after page with happy glorious moments of triumph, but alas that world won't exist until the trumpet sounds. My hope is to share with you the true story of a young missionary couple called from a life in the suburbs of Indiana to stand in the gap in Hungary.

Throughout English camp we poured ourselves out onto and into people. In return we felt their stories and walked away carrying some of their struggles. I invite you to continue this journey with us through spirit and prayer. But I must also add this warning, you might just walk away with some emotional melon in your hair. You might just find that at the end of the day you feel it too. You may just find moments where your driven to your knees and crying out for God to move. I profoundly hope that you do.

Living in Front,

Jonathan and Corinne

Praises All Around!

This past week has been a week full of praises! Let us share some with you...

1. The picture to the left is from last Friday night's Young Adult meeting. We are so blessed to have such an amazing group of young people coming to our home for dinner and a Bible study each Friday night. Some of them attend the OMS church and others were invited by their friends or Jonathan and me. Praise God for their desire to know more about God and the crazy American family that moved in only a few short weeks ago!

2. This past week, Jonathan and I completed our first intensive language course. Fortunately we did learn some Hungarian, and we both passed our final exam with flying colors! Praise God! We will be taking a short break from language study so we can participate in the upcoming English camps and plan to continue courses in August and into the fall. We both have already had many opportunities to practice our new skills as we are out and about in the city.

3. Jonathan received a call last Tuesday that our residence permits had been approved for two years! (This is a huge praise, since often they will only approve one year at a time.) Thursday of last week we travelled back to the immigration office to receive our official "stamps" in our passports to say we are legally residing in Hungary. Praise God!

4. Just yesterday we received an email from our property manager (that is handling the home we own in Indiana) to indicate he had signed a lease with a tenant for our house. And much to our surprise she was beginning the lease on July 1st (only 2 days from the time we were notified). This is a huge praise as we were concerned the house would remain empty the entire month of July and thus burdening us with paying our house payment an additional month in the states. God does provide - even at the last minute!!

5. On a personal note, we have been blessed this week with the visit of Jonathan's brother and family to Budapest. They were able to join us for the Young Adult group on Friday night and for church on Sunday morning. It has been such a joy to share with them the beautiful Hungarian people and their culture. Carter has especially enjoyed the visit of his two older cousins.

Only a couple weeks ago, I struggled to see how God could provide for us in all our areas of need. I was reminded during my devotional time that "in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us" (Romans 8:37) Through Christ we cannot be defeated! Praise God! What a reassurance we have. When trials seem to get us down, God has already won the battle and we will overcome! He has proven this to me once again!

Still conquering,

Corinne

It's All Hungarian to Me

Learning Spanish came easy to me.  Growing up in Colombia, my earliest days were filled with the Spanish language.  I guess that probably calls in to question the C+ in Spanish I at Greenwood High.  As my mother would put it, "I just didn't apply myself". Sorry Mrs Brown.  

I like Spanish. Spanish is easy to learn.  I already speak Spanish. So why on earth did God call me to Hungary??  Lord, Costa Rica was already taken?  

I'm kidding of course, but with a new country comes new challenges, and right at the top comes language study.  Hungarian is an intensely complicated language, with nuances and such, and more exceptions than actual rules.  Learning hungarian is like smacking yourself in the face with a sock full of quarters, it's hurts really bad, so it feels good when you stop.  Every day Corinne and I leave language school with a head full of tapioca that used to suffice for brains.

But God is faithful and we've been told by several Hungarians that they are surprised with how well we're doing.  I don't see that, but they seem to.  Ok Lord, I'm over the Spanish thing, how about some divine language knowledge??  Please??

One great thing about learning the language is that it already feels like it's opening up the world to us.  Corinne came home recently all pumped up because she was able to read a sign hanging in a car window.  I've been trying to read the advertisements on the subway walls.   During a recent picnic I was actually able to carry on a simple conversation with several non-english speaking Hungarians who were more than gracious with me.  It's amazing how much being able to talk with someone, albeit in a foreign language makes you feel at home.  

How we took for granted something so simple as walking up to someone and being able to speak to them.  Now I get excited if I recognize the TV show name on the TV guide paige. 

We've also been able to get out some and try out our hungarian with good friends. The above picture at a picnic in Vac (pronounced Vautz) was a tremendous experience.  Rupi and Eva, are host couple, are precious Christians and we truly enjoyed our time there.

Of course our ultimate goal is to be able to share the good news of Salvation  with precious Hungarians in their heart language, Magyarul.  But as we learn the language, we are finding out that though challenging, it can be a lot of fun, and an experience we won't forget.